The secret walk that teenagers have with God is something that many young people experience, and their parents don't know about it. It is hidden from most worried and concerned parents. As an experienced "secret walker," I know my mother frets over my relationship with God, because she thinks I don't have one. Little does she know that beyond my vacant expressions is a mind that ponders the secrets of the universe, far enough to reach the thought of, "Is there a God, and does he care about me?" I've been told all my life, "Yes, of course, there is a God, and certainly he cares for you." But a person can be told this daily and still not grasp the truth in it. No, each of us must pick up these thoughts on our own and dust off the familiarity, digging into the truth hidden beneath the layers of repeated Sabbath lessons.

What could spark these thoughts into being? What can an adult say that will trigger an explosion of mind-boggling proportions in a teenage mind? In some cases, that can be triggered only by another teenager, or someone close to it. (For example, a teenager who is trapped in an adult's body.) This was the case for me. I had already been baptized, and, yes, I did believe that there was a God who cared about me and sent his Son to die for me. But did I have a relationship with this God? I mean an intimate relationship; one that I can say really meant something to me. No, not really. In fact, it wasn't until I had a real heart-to-heart session with one of my dear friends, this last school year, that I even began to ponder the theories behind my personal relationship. From there on out God placed several influential people into my life. And slowly but surely my personal relationship grew and grew.

But I jealously held it within myself; hoarding it and letting it grow by itself. Like what I suspect other teenagers the world over feel, I was afraid of ridicule and mocking. Satan has made this world a cruel and harsh place to live in, especially as a strong Christian. I even hid it from my family and friends, those I trusted, because this was a treasure far too precious to risk being shattered. It was in essence my "baby," my small child growing and learning. As I went on with daily life, acting in the public eye as if it wasn't happening, God worked at my heart helping me become closer to him. At times I wished I could tell some of them what I felt and what God was doing in my life, but I held my tongue every time.

Eventually toward the end of the school year I began to ask my close friends about their spiritual walks. I didn't really expect an answer, knowing that I myself would never give a straight one, but surprisingly I was met with open minds. The open mind is one of the qualities I love most in what God has given me. It didn't matter if my friends weren't where I was with God, and I didn't hold it against them. In my mind I just wanted to know where the people I knew stood with all of this. Naturally, I never mentioned what I felt; I was still too secretive with my relationship.

All the way through this entire ordeal, I had my mom telling me that she was praying that I would come to know God in a personal relationship. I knew I could tell her that I had one, but I was still private with my walk. I hadn't explored every root yet, and I just didn't feel ready to talk shop with people about how I felt. There was no way that I was going to proclaim that, "Here I am, world, a strong and firm warrior for my Lord God Almighty!" My love and faith had grown, but not that much.

My relationship is still my own, even now partly a secret, though I wonder how much. But I don't go around talking about it with people and I don't really plan to for awhile. I know there are others out there like me, with their own secret walk, who have the seed of an intimate relationship with God and who don't want to let it out to the world yet. I understand that, I feel that way too; it's between me and God and nobody else, yet.

So, don't try to get me talking with you about it. It's mine, and when I'm ready I'll tell you about my Savior. Don't give up on us just because we're teenagers.